Pilgrim in the Trailer Park

 It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, but not here! Even though five o clock never meant much to me anyways: in the worst of it, all hours were drinking hours. Most people who know me would never think of me that way, but I was pretty reclusive at that time.  “Don’t let the past remind us of what we are not now,” sings Crosby Stills & Nash in Judy Blue Eyes. What’s it like being sober every day and all the time? It’s like you’d think it would be: it’s dry, it’s boring. It lacks the sparkle of intoxication, the buzz and the bubble. But hey, I get to have a cigarette whenever I want, so…( you’re thinking, oh that’s great. (sarcasm noted)). I drink whatever else I want, too, preferably caffeinated, but I’m appreciating milk with a meal, and I should probably drink diet soda. I hang out with people who drink, though maybe I shouldn’t, but they’re great company (and awesome people) and they don’t tempt me or peer pressure me. In fact, I think they’re proud of what I’m doing. Jim says I “p...

 I love being a cat mommy!  But…my kids are disappearing left and right. Our Blackie just came back, and now Mom, John’s long-term beloved mama cat, has disappeared, along with our beloved Earl Grey ( Blackie’s brother). There’s not one clue to guide us to finding them. We still think it’s coyotes. We are not bad cat parents, trust me: we buy them whole rotisserie chickens, supply them with Tempations treats, and give them whipped cream every day (and Blackie gets his own Fancy Feast Gems). If anything they’re spoiled. But we let them roam freely outside; they come and go through the open kitchen window. I know it’s not safe outside, from the plethora of predators to the multitude of cars zooming by ( John has had many cats and rarely they get hit by cars). But it’s the best way to live: they’re animals with tactile senses and instincts that draw them to nature; you cannot trap them like birds or fish, in cages and tanks, even the huge “cage” that is a house (or “box” that is ...

 When you stop seeing or feeling the joy, then you succumb to the sadness (is that as sad as it sounds?…) That’s why I like to stay active (…that I’m only happy when I’m doing activities? Yes and yes). That’s why John and I went to the fair: to squeeze a little magic out of life. We got to the Volusia County fairgrounds at 3 o clock, but the fair doesn’t start until four. So we drove to Lake Helen, looking for a lake we never found. But we did find a Circle K where I could get a coffee, and we found a small market of ten or so vendors. “Do you know about sea moss?” this guy asked us. No we didn’t. “If you’ve got cancer or diabetes, you take sea moss, it’s great.” Then he looked at me: “ if he is stressing you out (pointing to John) you can take some sea moss,” he said. Okay! He did not even have samples or the product displayed. But it was funny, and we all laughed. John and I walked through a park to a public equestrian center. There were no horses there, but lots of horse poop. W...

 “Jesus freaks out in the streets/ handing tickets out for God…” (Tiny Dancer by Elton John) Yeah, I used to be uber Christian. Not like in-your-face, but in my personal life. I had always went to church growing up (and even went to church camp, vbs, and all that) so I had a strong foundation and background. But it didnt mean much to me because I hadn’t gone through anything hard in my life (except having an alcoholic father (I’m sure he’d prefer “drunk uncle”)), so my prayers weren’t serious and my conviction was minimal.  But then I had my life changing meltdown in 2021, and I found an old Bible (dated 1939) and Robert Bell’s Love Wins at a thrift store. Bell’s book spoke to me and renewed my faith and I thought maybe God was leading me down this road - “this lonely, lonely road” (Slaughter) - for a greater purpose, perhaps to save me from the heathen way I was living (though it was still good to read drunk or stoned). Yes, Jesus is coming back and is going to save me from t...

 Welcome back. This is Part 2 of my Florida Reflection. So my grandparents moved into Prospect Point, and I was looking for work. I spent the night at their house often, sleeping in a hospital bed. I smoked weed with their Guatemalan friend (they didn’t know). “Tienes la mota?” I had the mota. None of my online applications were fruitful. I heard the bowling alley needed help, so I went in there in a Jean jacket and met with Tina, the food and beverage manager. “If you could be any animal, what would you be?” was one of the questions she asked me. I don’t remember what I said (probably a cat). Whatever I said it got me the job.  I had no kitchen experience except for the bed and breakfast I worked at in Virginia (chicory coffee anybody?). Soon I was working a cash register and learning how to cook burgers and quesadillas, portioning French fries, and pre making pizzas with a ladle of sauce and a huge cup of cheese (we made pizzas out the ying yang). I liked my coworkers, espec...

 I’ve been thinking…I should write about my time here in Florida so far…after all I’ve been here almost nine years (since 2017)…as I sip my pumpkin coffee and take a drag off a Seneca…so here goes… I drove down here from Virginia in March of 2017, my red Subaru forester weighted down with my belongings. Not everything I owned, as I only planned to visit ( but I ended up staying). I drove down 95 nervously, with no music to soothe my nerves, as my radio had just broken. The Women’s March in Washington had just taken place a few months earlier, so I guess I was imbued with feminist power (I can do anything! Florida here I come!). When it got dark I stopped at a motel 6 (I think ) in Hardeeville, South Carolina. There was no way I was going to continue down 95 for hours in the dark when I hadn’t even hit Georgia. I had never rented a room by myself before (and I had only ever flown on a plane once). It was liberating. I took a shower and got into bed. In the morning I got a compliment...