Turn That Thing Off

 It’s football season again. Somebody shoot me (I’m only kidding. I don’t want to be baker acted again). 

Which shouldn’t bother me, since I don’t watch that much tv, besides my beloved  jeopardy and whatever you tube video craze John is into (I could live the rest of my life without ever seeing Anatoly ever again). Sometimes it’s bloopers or fails or cute animals or police chases. This is the modern lineup. And there’s an endless amount of it. 

I don’t hate football; actually I find the background noise to be comforting. My parents watched football. Yeah, my mom digs it. My brain has never been able to understand it. Perhaps that’s why I can’t get into it. 

But John loves it, so it will be on all Fall. Why do the games have to be so long? Why can’t we watch Mad Men all over again?…why can’t I get another hobby, one besides one where I let everyone know what I’m thinking and feeling? I could be a closed book, but there’s a strong wind a blowin’. Damn.

And I would stop there, but there might be a blog post a brewin’…and I haven’t finished my pot of coffee. It’s the only pot I do. I’m kind of one of those boring sober people. I happen to aspire to that, and I’ll take it as a compliment. 

If you’re dying to know, the New England Patriots are playing the Seattle Seahawks. No matter how much I try not to watch tv doesnt work. The size of our tv consumes the living room. I write at a wooden table in front of it. I long to be one of those catatonic couch potatoes, absorbed by but also unaffected by moving pixelated light. It would give my brain a break, my poor alcohol abused and psych drug guinea pig sponge. 

I watch tv with my friend Ray in his room. His tv is not quite as commanding, but it the center of attention, as he’s a you tube junkie too, but his jam is music. KISS music, metal music, etc. Podcasts about the music. Old tv show segments. I’m slightly interested, but really I’m just happy to hang out with him (part of my problem is I can’t smoke in his room. I’m nicotine spoiled at home).

Why can’t people just talk? Have a cup of tea? Why must we be constantly “entertained?” The pioneers were too busy building houses and fighting Indians. Now life is too easy, and it’s boring as fudge.

Sometimes Ray and I watch a movie. He’s trying to persuade me to get into horror, quite bluntly by saying I need to “grow up” and watch an adult movie. Okay, but it’s not my cup of tea. Although I actually enjoyed Burnt Offerings. I can handle the old horror because it doesn’t seem to be quite as scary as the new horror. Who wants to be scared? Like, would you want to be intentionally embarrassed or enraged?!…hello, these are not pleasant emotions! I think people’s brains are fried. I’m sure mine is second handedly scarred. 

For the record I do like watching movies, only if they’re of a certain decade. We’re in the middle of watching Salems Lot, right after we finished a series of Manson Family movies. We must seem deranged (we’re going to watch The Birds next).

And this is my entertainment, typing on an electronic tablet. I’m no better than anybody else— I might be worse since I’m all absorbed in my own thoughts and opinions.