Not Nothing

 Was I excited to come back to Florida?

 Well, no. Coming back to the real world after Vacationland is so uninspiring. Like the saying, putting a brown paper bag over your head. That’s what I did.

 Is it just me? Florida is the place you’re supossed to vacation (although John swears we were never on vacation (and I did forget my bathing suit)), and not the other way around. No wonder I’m so…backwards? And maybe that’s why I’m having a hard time getting work, cause the sun makes my body think I’m retired, but my mind is, again, wheeling around the International Speedway (I knew I had a death wish). 

I’m kind of in a funk, if you couldn’t tell. This is probably stuff I should write in my journal (but I want to share it with…yooou! (That’s an inside joke)).

The silver lining of returning to the land of sun and sand: I found a new devotional at the thrift store. A sobriety devotional, in fact. It’s called A Woman’s Spirit. It’s a small simple book with a lot of wisdom and a lot of hope. I forgot to read it this morning, so I just cracked it open to June 24, and what’s the advice? To Do nothing.

The female author says sometimes the best response to a situation is to do nothing. I think she’s off handedly referencing the serenity prayer, which urges us to “accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” which is an AA staple (You don’t have to be a drunk to learn and grow from these mantras; it’s just that recovering alcoholics are re learning to live life like a responsible sober person, so it’s Sunday school all over again).

I think she’s saying, if you can change a situation for the better, then do something, but if you can’t change it at all, it’s best to do nothing. Maybe that’s how you feel about the panhandlers on Ridgewood Avenue (a sunshine state staple if there was one). Would one or two dollars really change these people’s lives? It might get them a snack and a soda, but will it get them off drugs? And did you know that if people are really hungry — because the latest fad is “Just Hungry”— that they can go to a local church or food bank for assistance? (Because as John says, no one in America is starving)

 But maybe it makes you feel good to give them the money. I know it makes me feel good.

I can’t think of great example where doing nothing is a perfect response — except not scratching chicken pox— but it’s nice to know that it’s an option, that we don’t have to do something about everything. You are allowed to take a breath and relax. You can give it to God. 

I find myself doing a lot of nothing lately. And I don’t like it. Me doing nothing looks like me sitting on my porch, chain smoking (unfortunately (my mom is going to hate me for saying that)). My nothingness is not a solution to any problem, but rather lack of  a solution to my life. I know I need a job, I’m just a picky sob. 

And I’m biased, because I think Virginia is the most beautiful state in the US, but I need to lighten up because I actually live in very beautiful florida. Like right now I am watching the heat lightening over the ocean and listening to the palms rustle by the breeze. But also being eaten by bugs that think my bug spray is a joke. I can laugh about that. There’s a whole lot of something here.


 


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