The End (A Poem for a Friend)

 If it wasn’t for you I’d be dead/ you picked me up and fed/ me, Bought me lots of beer/ and whiskey/ does that make sense?/ would you enable a friend/ like a girl on the street in a dirty dress?/ Beats me…/ i wanna forget that mess/ never look back/ and also confess: I’m so grateful/ even though it’s hard to say I’m sorry/ for all the painful memories:/ falling off the toilet/ and pulling out my hair…/ eating all your burritos/ I’m sure you were scared/ when I got so skinny/ that my clothes didn’t fit me/ I couldn’t stop/ and I couldn’t slow down/ god knows how many pounds/ were missing/ the silver lining was the kissing/ even though my mouth/ tasted like beer and cigs/ and you couldn’t even touch me/ without me getting sleepy/ had to walk a mile up Riverside Drive/ just to please me/ while I smoked all your menthols/ and pounded my head/ against the wall/ I’m so glad we fixed that hole/ it made me sick/ to look at it/ and the broken window/ you covered with a wolf blanket/ sorry I ruined all the bridge mix/ and a mason jar/ the broken glass could hurt the cats/ but what I really broke/ was your heart/ this poem is just a relic of the damage/ the horrible and savage/ disease of alcoholism/ so I’ll talk about sobriety…

Now that I’m clean/ the world seems bright/ and there is no more reason to fight/ the sadness, no more/ wallowing in the madness/ no more sleepless nights/ no more Long Island iced teas/ (can i frown about that?)/ at the bar with the band/ now just a coke/ and a cigarette in my hand/ and feeding turtles at Buschmann Park/ blogging and looking for work/ cause I’m smart and I’m happy/ I rhyme and I write/ I eat what I want/ thank you for taking me out to lunch/ and pizza at Genoveses/ meeting your parents/ and all the love/ I’ll never know why…/ you said you needed a thesaurus to describe/ me, and more than two arms to hold me down/ while I fought/ i thought you didn’t want me/ this little drunken thing/ but…i needed you/ while you stood beside me/ enabled me until it freed me/ of this disease…/ you’re probably so sick/ of me talking about my sobriety/ and using this lazy rhyme/ but this is my story/ so one more analogy/ or metaphor or simile:/ like Slaughter says/ I took that “lonely lonely road”/ …to the dark and dirty end/ (I didnt fly to the angels, like my sister did)/ you saved my parents from more pain/ and me from bitter sin/ thank you/ again/ my roommate/ and my friend.

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