Practicing Sober Poetry

This website had some “sober poetry” written by a guy named Dave (Hi Dave. I like your work). I think he’s British; seems like he was getting “sloshed” a lot at the “pub.” I’m glad he’s over that nonsense. Anyways, I really liked it, so I thought I would take a stab at it, as I happen to also be sober and I like creative endeavors and im sort of an amateur poet (I published one poem on this blog before but I think most people thought it was weird and didn’t understand it (that was also around the time I was communicating with spirit guides. Go figure). But hey, that’s poetry) (though I have to ask, if it’s sober poetry, why is it about drinking? Seems oxymoronic… yet romantic, so…whatever). 

If I had to name my favorite drink, I’d really have to think

About alcohol, and that wouldn’t be good,

As Jesus said: lust starts in the heart

But what he meant was the head

And before you know it Jack’s in your bed

And you’re cheating on Jim with Crown instead

Then you’re hitting up captain morgan 

cause you’re emotionally dead (and maybe a secret pirate)

And then you’re “too drunk to work and too stubborn to die” (not my line)

But you can rely on southern comfort 

To get comfortably numb

Then listen to some Morrison (the other Jim) 

cause he was a poet

And a drunk, 

But don’t worry he’s dead

So you’re never going to (fill in the blank)

So what was my favorite drink again?

I think I better go with water,

In fact I’m going to take a cold shower

With John the Baptist 

And purge my poisoned mind of sin.


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