We Call It The Boat

The Boat Bar is a small establishment in Port Orange (some still call it Allendale), Florida. It looks like a boat, hence why it’s called the Boat Bar, or as we say, just The Boat. It has been getting people drunk for a long time, way before I moved here. Longnecks are two dollars (not sure if they still are). I became familiar with it when my old roommate, Tommy, would send me up there for tacos on Tuesday. It’s one of few bars you can smoke in. The tacos were really good and only two dollars each. I’d walk them back to the trailer in a white plastic bag, and we’d pig out in front of the TV (I always got a side of jalapeños). Almost every time I’d go in there I’d mistake the mannequin for a real lady. One guy said “that’s my girlfriend.” Okay.

The Boat does not serve liquor (unless you count the Jell-O shots): only beer and wine (and mini fireballs). I have plenty of not-good memories from my bad drinking days: getting there at 7 am, sitting at the wooden bar in dirty clothes chainsmoking and drinking draft after draft after draft until I got sleepy enough to tab out. One time one of the female bartenders told me to stop bumming smokes off people. But on a brighter note, I went up there last October, sober, dressed as a cat for Halloween. I ordered a Coke. I played songs on the juke box. It was fun. There’s a certain kind of joy as an alcoholic being able to go in bars and not Drink (and still have a good time). 

The Boat used to have a full menu, including damn good chicken wings, and also burgers, little pizzas, and mozzarella sticks, etc. I don’t know why they stopped most of their food; must be due to business. But it’s still going strong and I’m sure they get a lot of the Bike Week people. Plus Biketoberfest. And the people who like to play the gambling machines; it has those, too. And people who crave a good, old-fashioned hard beverage. 

But these days I avoid it, because I have no reason to be in a bar (unless I’m dressed as a cat). 


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